Ten Questions for Self-Growth

There comes a point in your personal development path in which you must stop and ask yourself certain questions to become aware of your reality and see where you are and how far you’ve gone on your self-growth path. When you ask the correct questions and you are honest with your answers, you will clearly identify the areas in which you have made progress as well as the aspects that still require improvement.

Be all you can be, is a positive way to start your day; however, if you don’t stop every now and then to dedicate some time for soul-searching and ask yourself questions such as these ten questions for self-growth, it’ll be too easy to get caught in the daily grind and remain stuck in situations that you intend to change but never have had the time for.

ten questions for self-growthOf course it’s hard to think of anything else when there are real life issues to be addressed on a daily basis.

Nevertheless, when you aspire for something deeper and more meaningful in life, you must dedicate some time to self-analysis, inquiry and introspection… at least a few times per year. It is through inner contemplation that you determine not just what you want (and I’m sure you are aware that ‘wants‘ and goals change throughout life) but if you are on the right path to achieve what you desire.

The following ten questions for self-growth can get you started toward exploring where you are in life and if you are on target to achieve the changes you seek. Perhaps you can come up with questions that are more pertinent to your personal life experience, so take these as guidance and elaborate on your own.

Ten Questions for Self-Growth

1. What do I really want?

This is a question as old as humankind. Perhaps you want to do so many things that you’ve gotten confused or have left everything for a ‘better moment‘. Or maybe you want to accomplish just a handful of things but you’ve got little time to even go about one of them during a regular week. First, realize that there is no better moment than right now. After all, life is too short to wait on something you truly want. Secondly, I suggest you find something that you are good at; just one thing to get you excited and then take the first step. Little by little, you will be moving forward towards the self-improvement you’re after. Diligence is key.

2. Do I really want to pursue ‘X’? (whatever X means to you)

If history has taught us one thing, it’s what we’re constantly learning and changing our wants and goals as we grow, evolve and go through life. Some wants are essential. They represent something we want badly, what we want to become as individuals. Life Coaching refers to these wants as your life purpose. Other wants are related to life seasons; thus, more malleable according to the experiences we go through. For instance, your life purpose may be to be of service to others at a personal level. Perhaps this want is related to your chosen field or profession, such as becoming a counselor. Another kind of want (not necessarily your life purpose) may be your desire to learn to sing, but as time passes you realize that this want is not appealing to you any longer. Now you are more inclined to learn how to draw.

3. What’s the bright side in all of this?

Whatever you want to pursue in life, there will certainly be challenges to overcome. The main point here is to always focus on the positive or the bright side of things. If you feel passionate when you think about achieving a certain thing or goal, you will surely find a bright side to it despite the present trouble. Always keep in mind that nothing is permanent and that once the challenges pass, you will get to enjoy the fruit of your labor.

4. Am I happy with what I’m doing?

Be very honest when answering this question. It may seem obvious, but after giving it some thought you may discover that you are not happy with your goal or the way things are going. Perhaps is time to evaluate your want once more. Or maybe you just need to tweak some things, add or remove others, and realign your want with your happiness. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting tasks or questions to be experimented on. Whatever you do, just make sure it brings you happiness not just with the end result but as you go as well.

5. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do or can do? Oftentimes we focus on pleasing others, especially those we care about, and we do it so much that we forget about our own needs and dreams. There is nothing wrong with giving to those we love; however, make sure things are in balance. This means that you should also dedicate some time to doing something for yourself. Discontentment can be dangerous in large doses, and if it accumulates it creates resentment toward those you love. Don’t allow for this to happen! Give yourself time to pursue things you love, and do it just for you. Contrary to mainstream belief, this is not selfish but an act of love.  When you are ok, everyone around you will most likely be ok too.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?

Another important question that only you can answer; but I must warn you though: many people are very harsh on themselves.  If you have not advanced toward your goal as you’d planned, don’t be too harsh thinking that you’re taking too long, that it’s not worth it or that you should forget about it. Evaluate your present situation honestly and fully. Perhaps you’ve had an extra busy month? Does that truly mean that your goal is not worth it? Are you procratinating or is it that you honestly have not had the time to start just yet? Is there something you can do right now to start on your goal at once? Perhaps you need some assistance to get things going? Also remember those areas where you are happy even if not directly related to your goal. For instance, are you a good and loving mom or dad to your kids? Give yourself some credit! The same goes for other things in everyday’s life!

7. Am I attractive to the other people? (or to the opposite sex?)

So maybe you don’t believe you are extra special or super attractive. Would you be surprised to learn all of that is 100% irrelevant? You can decide to shape-up, change the way you wear your hair, upgrade your wardrobe, or learn to be more charismatic. All of that is a choice and has nothing to do with the way you look or any special talents. When you change your attitude toward people, you can get amazing results. Always remember that positive changes like these ones will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?

It’s easy to get carried away by materialistic goals, especially if you live in a Western World society. Just be aware of this and ask yourself if you want something because your friends or the neighbors have it or because it will truly make your life better and happier.  Having lots of money is appealing, no denying it, but the question behind this is… how much are you willing to give up for it? Sometimes the most precious memories are those of having had time (not money) to share special moments with those you love.

9. What motivates me?

What motivates you in life, precisely? Most people think about getting something tangible as a motivator to go and work for it. For instance, upgrading their vehicle may be a huge motivator for some, and when they get it they feel happy indeed. But ask yourself… how long will that feeling last? When you think about motivation you have to think of the greater picture. How about getting to enjoy your golden years knowing that you did your best? What would be your motivator to achieve that goal? What’s truly valuable to you? This are answers you have to find out for yourself. At the end of your life, your heart and memories could be filled with joy. And most likely, you won’t remember (or won’t care) where that fancy car ended.

10. What Really Makes Me Tick?

So… what really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be. It may sound cliche but it is true. Whatever you want and whatever moves you, don’t ever give up on your dreams and journey, regardless of how difficult it may seem to achieve. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical, mental or philosophical change you undergo, but it’s something that you truly want for self-fulfillment.

Where these ten questions for self-growth useful to you? Please share your comments below. Thank you!

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11 Responses to Ten Questions for Self-Growth

  1. SoFe September 4, 2017 at 7:53 AM #

    I like these questions to start on self analysis! Q3 and Q4 resoated to me the most and I would also add, what are the disadvantages or what do I stand to lose if I don’t proceed. I have discovered that sometimes I do things because I have to or because I’m asked to, but not because I have evaluated if the end result will make me better or happier in any way. What I’m saying is that sometimes we act on automatic and we are not happy, and this needs to be explored as well. Thank you.

    • Tammy September 4, 2017 at 1:11 PM #

      I agree with you, SoFe. All aspects should be evaluated to see if what you’re doing still makes sense and makes you feel fulfilled. What I meant to convey is that through self-analysis you can identify if something doesn’t make you happy any longer or if it doesn’t make sense to continue. As mentioned in Q4, sometimes you realize through self-analysis that some things are not making you happy anymore, so it’s time to revise, tweak, or move to another thing altogether, according to what you discover. Hope this clarifies things a bit. Great comment!

  2. Fernando September 4, 2017 at 9:08 AM #

    I agree with SoFe. It’s important to check what we do and why we do things. Every once in a while I have noticed this in my life. I act on compulsion and due to routine, and when I notice, there is no reason I can find to continue on doing those things. I’m also thinking about my job. Some things, like making a bunch of xerox copies for a meeting, can be delegated, but I do this compulsively and without thinking ecause when I started working there, it was my duty but it is no more. I despise wasting time by the xerox machine, but still do it. Go figure!

    • Tammy September 4, 2017 at 1:02 PM #

      It’s not easy to break habits sometimes, but you’ll find a start once you become aware. So many people just “do” and don’t question “why”. Now that you are aware (and especially if you don’t like it and can delegate it) try to change it. You may want to set a reminder about a couple of hours before your meeting to ask someone else to make the copies for you, for instance. Pretty soon, you won’t need a reminder and you’ll ask for this routinely. Good luck, Fernando!

  3. Mariana September 6, 2017 at 7:40 PM #

    I’m having this problem in the number 8 question with my husband. He is very driven and has glorious plans for money accumulation. I don’t complain. He gives us a good life. I never go wanting and our children attend private schools and have various extracurricular activities that they enjoy. Just last week, my youngest got enrolled in horse riding classes. We’re happy overall, but sometimes I miss having quiet time to enjoy with my hubby and as a family. He’s always attending meetings or on the phone or the computer when he’s at home, even late nights. You’re a life coach, do you have any suggestions for me? Thank you.

    • Tammy September 7, 2017 at 8:06 PM #

      Mariana,

      The first thing that comes to mind is communication. Many couples don’t talk openly about issues because they fear hurting the other or the relationship. Have you tried talking to your husband about your needs? If he’s as busy as you say, I suggest you invite him for dinner, just the two of you, away from home, computer and phone. I’d even ask him to leave his cell at home or turn it off for a couple of hours. This is a valid request and should not affect his business negatively in the short term.

      Make the date special and tell him how grateful you are to have him as a husband and what an amazing father he is. Then, share with him that you’d love to do more things just with him and just as a family, away from work responsibilities. Talk to him about the importance of having a balanced life, not only for you both as a couple and for the family, but for his own mental and physical health. He may be young now but working at this pace may affect him in the future. Showing your concern may open a new channel of communication, not because he doesn’t know you care, but because oftentimes we take things for granted.

      Here are some questions for you to consider… What would happen if 2 or 3 times a week you dedicate a couple of hours to me, and/or your children without interruption? Would you consider hiring help to free some of your time to be with your family? Have you thought that we might be missing on creating momorable moments with our children before they grow up and leave the home? Is there anything I can help you with to speed things up so we can have a “me & you” evening?

      I don’t know the particulars of your situation, Mariana, but I believe this can give you a headstart. There’s also the possibility of an underlying cause for compulsive working habits. If you believe this is the case, you may have to explore this with a professional. Thanks for sharing. Best to you!

      • Mariana September 18, 2017 at 9:20 PM #

        OMG, Tammy! I so much appreciate your response. It is a great help. From what I read, you hit the nail on the head. I believe my hubby will be open to these questions. I will follow your suggestions and update you. Thank you so very much! Forever grateful!

  4. LuS83 September 7, 2017 at 7:33 PM #

    Very useful, thank you.

  5. Rachel September 12, 2017 at 7:32 PM #

    Number 7 talks to me. My friend is attending beauty school and offered a free makeover for a ‘before and after’ photo shot that she needed for her finals. I thougt it’d be fun, so I said yes. She died and cut my hair and showed me how to apply makeup like a pro. Guess what? This guy that sits a couple of cubicles from me at work and that barely saw me before, just invited me for lunch! I’m feeling like a queen…

  6. S.W.P. September 15, 2017 at 7:26 PM #

    This is true. My wants have changed many times in the past few months as I lost my job and was thinking about switching fields. I’d say that it’s important to reflect on one’s life at least every couple of months unless you’re sailing smoothly.

  7. John Muir September 18, 2017 at 7:58 PM #

    Good starting point! Thanks!

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